ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
