i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
