As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I will pee on everything he values.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Boobs are out for the taking
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
