so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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