i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
