He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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