think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
