No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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