She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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