omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
farters have to be the big spoon...
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
