you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
