Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Randomize