I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
