just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
