I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
