woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
