We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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