hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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