I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
