well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
