yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
