shes about as inviting as chlamydia
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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