Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
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