Soap is not a condiment
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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