Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
