his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
They have beer where we have blood.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
