But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
