I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
