Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
