I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
