Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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