it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
