Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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