I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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