He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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