I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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