Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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