You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
There are leaves in my underwear?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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