Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
