i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
