god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
