first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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