shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i would punch a child for taco bell
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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