I'm gonna have a badass scar
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
only if we run a train.
done.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
