Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
As shirtless as possible
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
