did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Dignity is for republicans.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
