I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
