My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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