and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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