it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
