I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
