I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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