I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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