She's JV to your varsity
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
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