marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
