I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
