Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
