We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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