We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
