i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
