im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
