dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Green mimosas i think yes
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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