i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
