shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
