i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
